His first day at school: a new chapter

And so, there it is. I now have a schoolboy, and not a pre-schooler.  It seems to have happened without a hitch, so far.  And like every mother in the same position, I find myself astonished at just how quickly time has gone since he was a little bundle in my arms, since he took his first wobbly steps, and since he started pre-school.

Yesterday was M's first day at school.  Well, it was only two hours in the afternoon, as the school does a staggered start for Reception children.  The morning dragged; it felt like we were just waiting and waiting for 12.45 to come around so we could make the first journey to school.  M was being especially affectionate.  I was on the receiving end of more bear hugs and declarations of love ('I love you sooooo much, Mummy') than I could count.  I don't think in the slightest that this was because he was feeling worried about school, more that he could pick up that I was feeling a little emotional.

When we finally got on his uniform, I tried my hardest to stop the tears, but they just rolled out.  He looked so smart and grown-up, and he was just so proud of himself.  We took some pictures of this special moment.  Daddy came home from work so that he could come with us to school, but before we left, M and I had a special little moment alone. He asked me if he was 'safe'. I'm not sure what he meant by that, but it was probably last minute nerves kicking in.  An extra long hug, a whisper into his ear that I would always be here for him, and a kiss, and we were ready to go.

When we got to school, we had to wait outside the gates for a while, and M was getting impatient to go in.  When it was time to say goodbye and go into the classroom, we had another quick hug and kiss, and then he was off, without a backward glance.  And that's just the way it should be, I think.  He was every inch a confident little school boy, ready to start the next chapter in his life. And judging by his beaming smile when I collected him at 3pm, and his enthusiasm for telling me everything that had happened in the afternoon, this new chapter will be an exciting and happy one. 
 

Mummy & M date number 1: an afternoon at Thinktank

 

I feel like time is slowly counting down to that date in September when I have to deliver my little boy to the gates to begin his school days.  It excites and scares me in equal measures, to know that he is on the cusp of such an exciting and hopefully happy part of his life.  He has so much ahead of him to stimulate his clever little mind, and will be influenced by so many other people than his immediate family.

I suffer from the well documented 'mummy guilt', brought on by the fact that I cannot spend as much time giving him my full attention now that I have two children to look after. I spend my days feeling completely torn between the two of them, and it's nearly always M, whose needs are less immediate, who has to wait. It's been getting to me a little bit, hearing 'just wait a minute', and 'in a bit' come out of my mouth as often as they have been lately, particularly since F is now mobile, and needs constant supervision.

With the long summer holidays upon us, I've decided to carve out some time each week just for M and me, when we can go somewhere fun, and do something just the two of us, like we used to before F was born.  So, I've planned six Mummy and M dates to look forward to.

This week's adventure was a pretty exciting one: we spent the afternoon at Thinktank in Birmingham.  I think the train journey would've been excitement enough for M, who was so enthusiastic about everything he saw along the way ('What's that, Mummy?' 'It's a cooling tower.' 'Oh! I love cooling towers, they're my favourite!'), and who made the other passengers smile with his sheer joyfulness and his lack of reserve in telling the lady opposite us all about where we were going and that he was starting school in September. 

There were a few grumbles on the rather lengthy walk from New Street Station to Thinktank (it was raining, and M was quite hungry), but when we arrived, he was captivated.  There were machines to watch, huge robot arms to control, water wheels, pumps and waterways to play with, a steam engine to marvel at, and so much more.  M is particularly interested in the human body, so was absolutely over the moon to find a model of the digestive system, complete with food moving through the intestines, and a button at the end he could press to make a poo sound.  That was right up his street!

Outside, in the garden there were more contraptions to have a play with, water to splash about and levers and handles to pull and turn.  He was in his element, and I felt like I could really concentrate on being the mummy I want to be to him.  We were both shattered when we got home, but I think we'd both reconnected somehow.

I can't wait for next week's adventure!

                             

                               

                             

 

                             

 

                             

 

Tomorrow, you will be four

To my beautiful boy,

Tomorrow you will turn four.

It seems hardly possible that it has been four whole years since you made your rather fast appearance into the world, bang on your due date.  Time has passed in a strange way: there have been many long days, some difficult, some filled with joy, but the years have seemed short.

As we leave behind being three, I feel like you are entering a new phase in your childhood.  You are now very much a little boy, and not a toddler, and not even a pre-schooler for very many more days.  When I think back over this last year, I realise just how much you have changed and grown.  It has been a year of big changes for you.  And I have been struck by how adaptable and positive you are. 

You left the security of your lovely childminder's setting in October to begin your adventures at pre-school.  You took it completely in your stride: I was half expecting a few tearful drop-offs and a bit of sulkiness when you got home, but you have been mostly enthusiastic and happy to be there.

Just after you began this new adventure, your little brother was born, and you became a big brother.  I am continually proud of how you have taken this new role and become the most caring, kind and affectionate brother you could ever be.  Your love for F is plain for all to see, and your gentleness towards him and adoration of him is the most wonderful thing to witness.  You have never once shown any jealousy of him, even though you have had to adjust to not having my full attention like you used to.  I am so proud of you for how you have coped with this, and to me, it shows what a big-hearted little boy you are.

As you turn four, let me describe what you are like.  You are a bundle of energy (you always have been), and we recognise that you need to expend that physical energy every day to remain at your happiest.  You enjoy trips to the park, where you love playing hide and seek, crazy golf, and where, over the past year, you have become ever braver, venturing onto climbing frames and slides that would have daunted you a year ago.  You were given your first bike last Christmas, and although you've had a slow start on learning how to ride with the stabilisers on, you are now just beginning to master the pedalling motion, and are thrilled with yourself when you move along. 

This time last year, you didn't really play imaginatively, relying on me and Daddy to help you make up stories with your toys, and needing someone to play with you all of the time.  Now, I hear you chattering away in the midst of your train set or your Sylvanian Families toys, giving voices to the figures, and narrating scenarios.  It's so lovely and funny to listen to.  Your favourite toys at the moment are your wooden train set (you are now skilled at making complicated tracks and 'countries'), your Lego Duplo sets, and your various board games.  Although you've always liked crafts, I never thought you'd be a child who sat and coloured pictures, but now you have the concentration to spend quite a while at the kitchen table creating lovely pictures.  Your pen control has improved so much, and you are so proud when I display one of your pictures on the kitchen cupboards.

At the moment, you are such an affectionate little thing.  You will often fling yourself at me, saying, 'Mummy, I love you soooo much!' and shower me with kisses.  You are always ready for a hug, and love to sit on my lap, twiddling my hair when you're tired.  You are much freer with your affections than you were when you turned three. I love it.  I never want this to change, although I suspect it will, one day.

How will the coming year change you, my lovely little man?  You will start primary school in a few weeks, and that is bound to bring some huge changes.  But for the moment, I have you here with me for the summer and I'm going to enjoy your company.

So, happy birthday, my beautiful, funny, kind, crazy boy.  I love you to the moon and back.

Love,

Mummy xxx